The supreme hatred harboured by everyone who uses the internetz dictates that I must start off by noting that I fucking love Beck Hansen’s work. From Fresh Meat & Old Slabs to Blue Randy. I love it. I am a fan. Almost a mega-fan.

So allow me to voice my malcontent. My disappointment. I am underwhelmed beyond words; for all I wanted was some new music. Songs, a body of work that started with track one and ran until track end. The songs needn’t be related, coherent or even conventionally good. Just some songs, Beck.

It was all so promising. Appearances in the media. Recordings. New songs. Live shows became expected, rather than a dirty hope which needed lots of bottom lip-biting. It could have been great, Beck. I loved Modern Guilt. I thought, and still do think; it’s sublime. A piece of majesty.

I understand, also; why this format was chosen. But please, musical Gods; remind artists we are not all of the hipster generation. Even amongst Beck fans, there are those of us who dream only of music. Whether it be on 180g audiophile vinyl, or a little plastic disc. Either way, man. I also appreciate that in Planet Hipster, it ain’t worth jack unless it’s a redundant medium: glasses with no lens; fixed gear bicycles; canvas anything; handlebar moustaches, humus…

How did this come into being? Who gave the green light for this an economically viable piece of “art”. Or is that the key? It isn’t economically viable, and so it will be “über-limited” to only 3.4 units?

“We’re gonna need a release from you soon…”
“Uh, yeah, it’s just I haven’t done anything. No music really. It’s all too disparate. And being an icon, y’know?”
“Yeah, we love that angle; but we will need something soon”
“I have an idea. Why don’t we exclude everyone? Let’s release an album on paper”
“Fucking genius, Beck.”

I pray to a god, in whom I don’t believe; that is not how it came about. I also really hope this actually turns into REAL recordings of Beck playing the music. It surely must do, hence JMJ’s tweet about “working on new Beck stuff”? Any other Beck fans out in the ether, please either assuage my fears, or tell I’m wrong and why. Please.

 

I guess if it isn’t the coolest fucking thing ever, at least the emperor of tumblr’s new clothes are looking swe…oh.