The opposing flanks in terms of football’s “intelligentsia” in Britain are rarely united, but this summer they’ll have two uniting wills: 1) to see England win the World Cup and 2) to see “safe standing” in English football grounds. Now, I’m sorry to say that I am not and never will be for this idea in this country.

It’s obviously an horrific thought to entertain, returning to the bad old days of the 70s and 80s in this country, with metal fences ramming in the supporters who made things worse for themselves with the cancerous waves of hooliganism that ransacked our cathedrals of the beautiful game. Yet for some it is the one thing that can unite a Leeds and Manchester United fan. But why?

The oft cited examples are the USA and Germany, when either Premier League fans hop over to the States for the requisite pre-season tour they return exclaiming “they let you have beer at your seat!“; when the less obviously wealthy fans return from Europe to see domestic matches, they’d also remark that there’s standing. Now if any of you know me, you’ll know I’m quite fond of our Teutonic near-neighbours, I believe they’ve taught everyone a thing or two about football (from “Fritz-Walter-Wetter” to Gerd Müller, via Jens Lehmann) but English fans take this out of context.

In England, historically, the game was about “the lads” meeting up for some bevvies in the local boozer at about noon, with a sing song to boot; then head to the ground sing more, fight, and generally be rowdy- this leads to the common association of football as no longer being a “working man’s game“. But this is where the problem lies, the people demanding the return of standing are the people who were they the first time to witness the Heysels and the Hillsboroughs; nobody of my generation who goes to football regularly that I know, wants a return to standing. I stood at a game once last season, away at Barnet. It was fun, I admit, but I would not like it, say in the Stretford End or on the Anfield Road Kop. The Germans, on the other hand, have a different mentality. They go to a game as a social event, it is more focussed on the idea of getting together to watch the game, with a casual beer and some food. Much like the US sports’ “Tailgating” parties and linked sections in stadia.

There’s just something about the English psyché that means that, unless there is a seat, specifically pre-bought; “we” run amok. Even when there are seats, they have a tendency to be ripped out by irked fans. I’m not saying that English football is by any means perfect in its current state, the infectious hooligans are rearing their filthy heads once more, and a return to standing would surely exacerbate this. Yeah, the FSF say that with seats there is a general lack of atmosphere. There is no need for it to be this way, we don’t need “standing” sections, we need “singing” sections, like Toronto FC’s “Red Patch Boys”.

I’m all for standing, do not assume I’m not. I’m against the notion of safe standing. Standing in seated areas is already safe, at every away game I have been to, we have stood amongst seats. The seats act as a safety precaution, they (usually) stop a crowd surge towards the pitch in such numbers as previously seen and feared. They are also a barrier against personal space, I’m sure it does create a sense of belonging having a pissed bloke weeing in you pocket, but I’d rather be in the 21st Century with a seat to sit on, or to stand in front of. Remember Charleroi in Belgium when the fans complained of the gradient in the stands? Oh, what, that’s a safe standing ground…?